COURTSHIP PRODUCES THE BEST: MARRIAGE BRINGS OUT THE REST PREACHED ON SUNDAY, 13^TH MARCH, 2016 AT The Household of God Onitsha Anambra State, Nigeria. BY APOSTLE PETER ODOEMENA THE SON OF MAN THE ROCK OF AGES

However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [ that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].

Ephesians 5:33 AMP

COURTSHIP BRINGS OUT THE BEST

We are in courtship with Christ. Any marital covenant without understanding is hanging in the air.

Somebody came to me yesterday and was telling me too many things about his experience with the lady he is about to wed.
I said, well, I have no other thing to offer you than the truth. Marriage starts with courtship; if you know the meaning of courtship.
Our marriage with Christ starts with courtship so to say. It is a natural marriage, if you can understand my language very well, you will be happy tomorrow. You will not ask me why because you will ask yourself why.
Courtship brings out the best in relationships while marriage brings out the rest. Courtship brings out best, marriage brings out the rest.
Whatever courtship produces that endears you to a man or to a woman is the best, the rest of the best will be completed, will be seen fully when marriage is actually contracted.
Whatever thing whether good or bad you started witnessing during courtship, you may be thinking that along the way it will improve for the better, you are wrong; it is a gross miscalculation.
Whatever is the manifestation of both parties during that courtship is the best. That is the best, I don’t care what it looks like. Marriage will bring out the rest. If you witness signs of stubbornness, intransigence, unreliability and you think, may be along the way the situation will improve. The truth is this, along the way the situation will perfect itself.
That is why you must be sure and certain before saying amen. Whatever you are seeing in the man, whatever the man is seeing in you during the period of “I love you, you are my sweetheart, this and that”; that is the best you can see, marriage will bring out the rest of the best. The best may be nagging without judging, the best may be angry resentment occasionally.
The best may be something that looks like good and looks like bad, you might be thinking that age or pressure especially domestically can change certain things. No! These conditions will perfect certain things.
So there is nothing you are seeing in marriage which you could not see its head rearing up in courtship and somebody trying to console you will tell you that only one eye is used to marry. Then the rest will be pierced.
And the young man then asked me a question, “do I now stop’”? I said no, it is too late for you have yoked yourself in the infertile union that does not improve one bit but perfects itself with time when it is officially named.
The moment it is officially named the rest comes out but the best is seen during courtship and if you ask married people they will tell you that if there be any time they think there was enjoyment it was during that courtship which you call honeymoon. You think that time will take its toll on it? No.
Time will perfect it because as it grows in age so it does in strength until the indestructible wall that will be very, very hard to crack will appear.
That is why the watchful stage of every marriage is the courtship stage. Elder Nwobu, are you nodding your head? We learn every day. We expose too many things not because of ourselves but because of our children that are coming up.
Married women will testify that they saw the best in husband during courtship I don’t know what that best could be. That best could be the marriageable condition, that this man is manageable, this woman think is manageable not that she met the standard, no.
But at least whatever you saw was the best for courtship produces the best while marriage brings out the rest and whenever the rest comes out you begin to hear discordant tones: “I regret the day l came into contact with this man, with this woman. I made my greatest mistake, I thought the situation would improve as we journeyed along, if I knew this thing couldn’t be just like the word of God said, I would have made u-turn”.
That is why if I am to make my own regulation, if I am permitted, if I have the authority, I know what I will be doing. I will suggest that we wed two times, the first as friends and then when we have the much we want to have as our children, at old age when every kind of temptation are reached we will wed again and that will be marital wedding.
What is contracted during courtship in youthful stage is incumbent after friendship in its peak.
Marriage is contracted at the end. Note it, If at the end the marriage has been real with the woman he wedded as a friend, the man resting in her arms, she is equally resting in the man’s arms, then it is the time we can wed.
We wed them in marriage, Amen. Somebody was wedding a couple and the reverend gentle man said that you must know the cord binding you, it is this law of God “for better, for worse”, they said they knew. Within myself I said no, this is a wrong union. I will rather use the best, “for best and for worst”, not “for better for worse”.
It is not yet in the superlative degree. This is Just the comparative degree.
So we want the superlative not the comparative. At that comparative level, either party can opt out for there is a step to do. Am I making sense?
Well you may not understand until you come to my house. This matter gave me serious thought. I consulted with nobody. I never consulted flesh and blood over this matter.
The person came to me not knowing what is happening in me sharing his own report, experiences in a marriage yet to take off where the courtship has been over five years and tried to comfort him by giving him the truth that whatever you are seeing now is best, the moment it is named, the rest will come out. We are complaining because we are quick in naming our partner.
Do you know that we are striving for mastery?
Often times we get crowned when we have almost reached the end. How do you crown an athlete who is still marking time?
The fastest runner is not measured by his strength, am I making sense? Many, many things ran across my mind, I subscribed to experience and I was compelled to wed my wife again.
If you ask me whether she is wedded I will say yes, for it is now that I wedded her, gave her a new wedding gown from my heart of hearts based on my many years of experiences.
I never conferred it on her, it is her merit because I compared and contrasted, I looked round I traced back towards the time I shared people’s opinion over marital issues, family ties and I came to the conclusion that she is in the class of her own, that she is a class of her own without any competitor.
I have come to the climax, I am now at the climax, I can judge things rightly now. I am above acting or talking by impulse. I have crossed all emotional feelings.

Marriage must be contracted among Children of God; among believers of the same Faith. Anything contrary to that is of the Devil. So, any marriage, that is joined together, that is not among believers must be put asunder. Even time, time will separate them. Events will separate them.

THE SON OF MAN

MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE (VOLUME 2) PREACHED ON 23^RD JUNE, 2002. Pg 84:8

DON’T WALK BY HUMAN IMPULSE

I thank God. I will ever remain appreciative because if I had made that mistake, it would have been disastrous even to this Bridal Faith.

I cast my mind back through all the Pentecostals; there is no Pentecostal general superintendent that is happy with his wife, not even one. Some ended it up in divorce suite. Check what I am telling you. Forget about the smokescreen dressing, whatever you see as their dressing, whatever you see them parading is just mere smokescreen.
There is no reality there. I weighed them, from all indication I have been thinking and meditating on this matter, so it is not something that I just woke up and then dabbled into it.
I started x-raying the so called men of God and what made them men of God. I checked their families not even one that stood before me.
In other words they are fakes. I narrowed it down and asked: what is my business with those that are without?
God will judge but I have the right to judge those that are within. I started from the chiefest apostles in the Bridal Faith, in spite of the glorious teaching we have believed. I weighed all in the balance starting from the bishops, those that are alive and in the Faith and those that left, even those that died. I traced the history, records of the deacons, I traced evangelists, in short the whole five-fold ministry I weighed everybody.
Brethren, I then asked myself this question: “If when God calls a man, He calls his wife, where is this problem emanating from? Could it be that these brethren are not called by God?
How can they be called then and their wives refuse the call?
Because when a man answers a call, he represents the family which starts with the wife. If the wife is not responding to the call of the husband, I mean the divine call; automatically that Man is reproducing Prophet Moses’ family. Am I making sense?
Remember that Moses attempt to obey the will of God by circumcising his two sons cost him a lot why? The wife never answered the call with the husband.
Why the discordant tones. I want to tell you why you are failing. You are failing because the tide that started during courtship were not carefully observed, were not carefully scrutinized, investigated, no attempt was even made to check them rather there was an erroneous conclusion that time could correct the imbalance.
Hence, time has never corrected that type of imbalance.
A man by right must marry his nature. As a result of impatience, both parties can hardly pause to weigh themselves between the two extremes, to know whether they are compatible or incompatible.
Too many things came into play not into consideration. I say into play not into consideration. One is Status. Either personality status, family status; not present but future, it can be present, it can be future.
Another one is domination. Domination, I say domination. As a result of impatience a woman may not have that time to access the man to know whether he is looking for one he will dominate and the man will not have the patience to evaluate the woman to know whether she is coming to him because she feels he is a weakling she can dominate.
Just like today women do not go for men that will marry them, they now go for men that they will marry and dominate.
A man was asking me a silly question why there is wide spread lawlessness in the families.
I said the reason is not farfetched. The reason is this; women have wield strength more than men. He asked me how?
I said sir, go and check it. In our honest attempt to cause our wives to become real helpmates; many have surrendered their responsibilities to their wives. Ninety-nine percent of families here today, I mean generally speaking in Nigeria in particular, ninety-nine percent of our families are run by women. Men are mere family husbands or figure heads.
Check a situation where somebody came to me last week; I told my wife about it. She said “our rent has expired and we pay annually, my husband has gotten his own share of the rent but my own remains #20,000, and my husband has said that if they pack our property away from the flat that I will be held responsible, so I am looking for a place where I will get a loan of #20, 000 to complete my quota. I said OK, thank you, what about education?
She said yes, everything we share it into two. She will take half, the man will take half. Is that marriage?
Do we call that marriage? It is just partnership agreement, it is a business run by two individuals on a fifty-fifty note.
There are many you will hear; you may think they do not exist, they are real. Many, many things I brought together, I am placed where l listen to peoples’ complaints, men and women alike, even their homes especially those from polygamous families and I began to ask myself this question:
“Who is that ideal wife”? Who is this ideal and credible husband? Where can this Ideal wife be found? Where can this credible husband be located? My conclusion is this: only the Lord, only God can bring the two together. Going by what we are seeing it is an impossible task. Am I making sense?
I am not talking about marrying in the Faith or not marrying in the Faith, I never knew anything called Bride of Christ Faith before I married my wife but I looked up to God, believe my testimony for my testimony is true. I believe in giving somebody his or her flowers when the person is still alive and there is no better time to give a flower than when the person has attained the right age to be conferred with whatever might be that good trait that endears a man to her.
So it is with the woman. To you that are coming up beware! I say beware! Beware!
Don’t be impatient, don’t walk by human impulse. Drop all causes of temptation, be sober, be virtuous and then wait on God, plan to wed.
A good number of what you see parading themselves today about are mere smokescreen displayed not even one has an iota of marriage;
But you can see a lot of iota of friendship inside, in the sense that one is not ready to do the other harm, but talk of the quality that make for a wife, it is not there.
You can be a mother and not a wife but you cannot be a wife without being a mother.
I don’t know whether I am making sense? You cannot love without spending but you can spend without loving, is there any sense there?
You can buy her a car, build her a house, do everything but you don’t love her. You are trying to pacify the situation to enable you have relative peace but you can never love without spending.
The question is this “To love and spend and to spend without loving which one do you prefer? Answer: To love and spend, Good, to love and spend not spending without loving.
Now, who is that person that should be loved? It is no other person than Christ.
If it is not Christ, it is make-up, if it is not Christ, it is mere suppression of feeling, if it is not Christ, it can’t subsist and it can’t last long, it is mere smokescreen.
This is why man and woman when you are all out to make your choice of a husband or a wife, go for Christ, go for Christ.
I am bringing out this information to enable us guide those that are coming up very well. Go for Christ, wherever you see Christ stop there.
But before you recognize Christ, you must be Christ for deep calleth deep. Friendship has no room for Christ for what friendship wants you to do is to settle down. I want to settle down whether you will settle down with devil, it does not matter, what matters is settling down and you will notice that while settling down, the legs are not touching the ground.
When you are settling down and your legs are still dangling in the air, have you settled down? You have not settled down until your leg will settle down and you are fully prepared. I thought about this matter seriously and I said I must address it from another dimension and there is no better time to address it than now that the atmosphere has been our friend. Go home and check.
The rest you are having, the rest that has come out which you could not see during courtship, to see whether there is anything you can do, if we are sincere to ourselves: that which is disturbing to you started rearing its signs during courtship for you had reasons to queried and sometimes you query but you lack courage to take action.
Sometimes you queried it and you were bribed, you were bribed. What is bribe? Whatever that is offered to a man or to a woman to influence him to do otherwise is a bribe, I don’t know what that thing can be, there are many things somebody can use to bribe your conscience, do you know that bearing children can be a bribe?
I know some women that complain bitterly that their husbands only takes care of them whenever they are pregnant, but the moment they deliver their babies, their husbands will be strangers, for that reason, they prefer being pregnant to attract the attention of the man for it is only during that time that the man will show real love and care and such women fall within the category of those that have too many children, not that they enjoy too many children but it is to enable them keep the man together. You will hear things like: “what I used to hold him down is pregnancy.
When I am pregnant, if I ask him to get a cup of water for me he will do so hurriedly, if I ask him to pull off my clothes he will obey me, if I ask him to get my shoes for me he will do so immediately, I can command him in all things and he will obey.” Do you call that love? This is the greatest form of wickedness. Amen.

Marriage and divorce. The essence of God permitting marriage is to raise Godly children. In addition, marriage is a contract; this contract is bound by some conditions. One of the conditions is that love must exist between the two: faithfulness must be there, honesty must be there, respect, honour, humility, they must all be there. Polygamy is not sin in the sight of God. But in this time of hardship, it will take a fool, one that is destitute of the truth to think of a second wife when he has not finished marrying the first.

THE SON OF MAN

MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE (VOLUME 2) PREACHED ON 23^RD JUNE, 2002. Pg 17:35& pg. 130:1

POLYGAMY IS ORDAINED OF GOD

Please let us try to liberalize our eyes so that our eyebrows can read between the lines of the message.

That place where you are might not be enough. Too many things might be hidden there. Amen.
Somebody will say “But | think you said we don’t practice courtship”? What do you understand by courtship? Who has ever married a woman without saying darling “I love you, I will like you to be my wife”, it does not take a millennium to create a relationship.
If you are intelligent, wise and understanding, less than one hour with somebody you want to propose to will tell you the manner of the person even the way she responds to your questions, to your advances, if you are an intelligent fellow who knows what you are looking for, because a man that does not know what he is looking for picks anything, but a man who knows what he is looking for does not halt until he picks what he is looking for, he cannot take anything less or anything more, it must be that or never. Some will tell you that what marriage entails is when you marry you now settle down and begin to like yourselves. That is not true. Who will learn from each other? What are you going to learn? What are you going to master?
There is nothing you will learn because what you have already picked is the best, what you have picked is the best for it was aimed at winning you so it becomes the best display.
The best display in the mode of dressing, in the mode of talking, in the mode of eating, in the mode of drinking, in the mode of walking.
Watch the way, the man packages himself and the lady packages herself, if it is the best, the rest must come out when you give her a name and that is “marriage brings out the rest”, rest of the package of everything.
If it is package to win you, it has succeeded in doing that, the moment she settles down, she will un-package. This is the rest, the rest is coming out.
If she is very neat, it is to win you; that is the best of neatness you can expect. When you marry her is when you know the rest for marriage make a man to know that he married a pig.
When you get home, you will believe that you brought in a pig who may not even have time for cosmetics again, no time for roll-on or body perfume, no time for even putting the hair in order, no time for sweeping the house for you met the best during courtship, even washing your dress, forget about it, but during courtship before you put off your clothes they are already washed.
Please don’t drive her away, don’t run away from him, he is as guilty as you are also guilty for you are as blind as he is blind.
The much you knew was the much he knew but now begin to train those that are coming behind.
Apostle Kelechi whether this thing choked you or not we want to hear the message; if you feel The Son of Man is bragging, make your wife after my own. Thank you.

The Son of Man Continued:

Marriage without proper investigation and scrutiny, proper courtship based on serious, careful, no sentimental investigation and scrutiny; any marriage void of this is mere gambling, mere try-your-luck and this was what our parents did.
Yes, some even carried out more investigation than our own day using their friends and well-wishers, using even their parents to investigate the character of the lady In question, the man the family, the lineage, everything Some even went as far as using oracles to carry out more spiritual investigation.
But in our own day, we rush into quick conclusion. That is once the left arm lays grip of the neck, the right Hand places on the jaw or cheek or nose, automatically conclusion is drawn “Na My choice, na my choice”; especially now that we are in the age of exchange of pleasantry but in our fathers’ days, they were in the age of cooking food, managing the house, getting fodder for the goat, tidying the compound but our own is exchange of gift, exchange of snacks, every snack time it is now “take me out, let us make a little outing, From outing, marriage is contracted.
Some are contracted inside buses, public conveyances, am I telling you the truth? Some stay in the bus, from Onitsha to Lagos, marriage is contracted, Onitsha to Aba, it can be Onitsha to Owerri.
“I don find one” Marriage is contracted now that husbands are very scarce and the population of women outweigh that of men, na operation “shine your eyes, not “shine your nose”, and they are shining their eyes.
Be very careful otherwise you will dig your grave, garnish your grave and beget no legacy for your children.
Marriages that were contracted on the road, on the highway, I love you, darling, darling, leaves nothing for the children because it started with fun fair, it must end in fun fair. It never started in reality, no plan, nothing, nothing.
I deliberately diverted the message from prophetic to reality. Lest we know the whole prophecy, know the whole message and still fail to make paradise.
Give us that which will usher us into paradise without question. What is disturbing the mind, disturbing everybody is traceable to his or her family. It is in your house.
If it is not your wife, it is your husband. If it is not the two, it is your children.
Go and check it very well, extended families we have taken good care of them. We know where they belong to.
But these are the ones that glued themselves permanently. The stubbornness in a woman comes out as she grows older.
The same way the goodness, the humility, the humor, the respect of every woman, of every man comes out at that old age.
Anybody that is not tolerant at his youthful age cannot be tolerant at old age, whatever you are in your youth will be perfected at old age for old age perfects all things.
That is why we have “Okenye Ugha” – untruthful elders. When he was a youth, he was a liar and he grew old with it.
A woman got married at the time of her youth, had two children, problem drove her out of that marriage, she remarried to another man, the same problem that drove her out of the first drove her out of the second for the life she lived in the first continued also in the second.
Do you understand the message, don’t say “if I had married The Son of Man, for there was no way The Son of Man could Have stopped on your way.
Whatever you are, where you are, it is what you will be if you had married The Son of Man. The ground can never strengthen a crooked tree. Even, you may be the worst if The Son of Man married you. This is pure truth.
We want to share some experiences; we are in a lighter mood now. I want to ask few questions. I will use the one in the pulpit. Polygamy is ordained of God, hated by Christianity, legalized by Islam. Did you get the message?
Polygamy is ordained of God, hated by Christianity, it is an abomination to Christianity but legalized by Islam, Islam and Christianity who followed God? Among Islam and Christianity, which followed God’s preserved truth? Islam. Stop there.
I want to ask some question.
Can a man marry two wives and have equal love for the two? I don’t want collective answer, deacon Vin come forward. On a lighter mood. He is a deacon, give him microphone, sit down I don’t want any noise.
You may think that I am joking, if I want to joke it will not be here. I want to drive home a message.
You know every action of The Son of Man conveys a message. You may call me a joker, don’t worry let me joke after all 1 know a woman whose name is joke but they call her Jo-ke.
Question: Deacon Vin can a man marry two wives and show equal love, equal affection, equal concern, equal responsibility to the two at the same time? Use your experience. I don’t want you to crack brain. Is it possible?
Answer: It is possible sir.
Question: Tell us how that can be achieved.
Answer: Actually it can be achieved by obeying the word of God and using the word of God to teach the two.
Question: Who is going to obey the word of God? Is it the husband or the two wives?
Answer: It is the task of the husband.
Question: What if the wives do not obey? What if one obeys and the other refuses to obey? I want you to answer. (Deacon Vin couldn’t answer).
Ok hold the microphone. Stop making noise. If you know you are not married keep quiet, if you are married look up to me.
Deacon Vin by nature every woman is jealous no woman wants to share her husband with another woman especially where there is love, is it true?
Answer: Yes sir.
Question: What do you think a man can do to remove that jealousy for the two cannot be married at the same time, one was there before the other came, who should be jealous? Is it the first or the second and what is the man going to do to remove the jealousy for where there is jealousy, there must be enmity, help us
Answer: Actually it is the first.
Please he is our deacon, he is not a boy, his first daughter is almost a graduate so he is more experienced than apostle Kelechi; go ahead.
Answer: Actually the first wife is the one that is supposed to be jealous.
Question: OK, the first wife is always jealous. What of the second?
Answer: Actually she will equally try to be jealous.
Question: So what do you think the man will do to stop the jealousy?
Answer: Well, the man will try his best.
Question: How is he going to try his best?
Answer: His adherence to the word of God.
Please pay attention, I am not kidding. Idiots are the people disturbing, why shouldn’t people be quite? Go ahead. (Deacon Vin continued).
Answer: Actually I think if we are all children of God
You think? Don’t suppose anything, (Yes sir), Good, how do you remove that jealousy that brings about enmity?
Answer: The only help I have is the word of God.
Question: Is it easy for a man to stay with two wives that are jealous over the man and still retain the Faith of Christ without hurting any?
Answer: Actually it is not easy.
Thank you. Amen. I want you to continue with your noise making because I am fooling you.
Question: Apostle Kelechi if you notice that you are the object of trouble between your two wives what do you do? What I mean by you are the cause of the trouble in the sense that the two are struggling for possession over you.
Answer: No, no, no I will not allow any of them to possess me.
Question: If you notice that the two are struggling to possess you what will you do?
Answer: I will not allow them to possess me.
Question: How?
Answer: I will call them to order and explain to them that I am the one marrying two of them and I have equal love for them, that none of them should try to possess me more than the other, I will draw their attention that when I decided to take a second wife I didn’t do it stupidly.
Question: Ok, what if after your explanation one says “over her dead body”, especially the first?
Answer: If she says over her dead body then I will know that it means she wants to die.
Question: OK, will you allow her to die?
Answer: No, I will not allow her to die, I will do my best to bring her to order.
Finally, is it easy to marry two wives and serve God after the desire of your heart?
Answer: really it is not easy to that extent because by and by two of them must do something that will provoke you.
When you want to be quiet enough to monitor your life, to take care of messages, some of them will not know your position.
Ok I have already gathered my points. Ok I want to ask another question then I will stop.
Bro Emma Agu, hold the microphone.
Question: What will you do if you have two wives, one that believes this Faith and one that does not believe and all of them have children in your house?
Answer: Well, if I have two wives and one believe and the other one does not believe, the condition for the one that doesn’t believe is that she will not stay with me because she doesn’t believe.
Question: What if she says she has believed?
Answer: If she says she has believed and she is saying with the children, I will get her a place where she will stay and I will carter for her.
Question: OK you will take care of her by feeding her, clothing her, taking care of your children in your house but you will not sleep with her, is that what you are saying?
Answer: No, what I am saying is that I will find a place for her to stay.
Question: You mean you will hire a house for her?
Answer: Yes, I will hire a house for her.
Question: You will pay the bill? Feed her, feed the children, will you allow her to train the children for you?
Answer: No sir.
Question: So how can you separate the children from their mother when you are the one paying the rent where you placed her? You thought I was kidding before? My friend answer me quickly.
Answer: It is hard. It is a hard question.
Thank you very much.
Question: Bro John look up and answer me. To marry and go to hell and to stay without a wife and enter Paradise which one is better?
Answer: To stay without a wife and go to paradise.
Question: Is it possible for a man that is not married to serve God fully?
Answer: It is possible. It is possible if God ordained it that way that the man will not marry.
Question: Oh No! Are we talking about ordination? You were married, you have a child and now you are living the life of a bachelor having the experience of a woman over the years. Has it been easy for you?
Answer: No Sir.
Question: Why has it not been easy?
Answer: It has not been easy because I desire to marry, because I have not married.
Question: Bro John Abah come forward; listen to me very, very well. Can a Man serve God when his wife who believes the same God is living separate with her children and the man living separate because of disagreement and all of them come to the same fellowship?
Answer: The condition is no.
Question: So the man can serve God?
Answer: I can serve God, but….
Once you say “but”, you have cancelled it.
Answer: It is a disturbing condition.
Question: Can the woman serve God under that condition?
Answer: The condition will be settled by God.
Question: But what if now God has committed it into your hand to settle your family dispute?
Answer: The same God will follow me to my family to settle the condition.
Deacon Vin stand up and summarize.
Question: From your experience so far, is it advisable for a man to marry more than one wife no matter the condition?
Answer: Well, it is not advisable.
That is all I want to hear. From now henceforth, let no man that wants to marry two, three or ten, ever consult me. Take it as your personal decision so that whatever that comes out of it, you will bear it alone. Have you heard me? Have you heard me?
This is the much I want to share with you. With these encounter, we draw the curtain for today’s message. Thank you. Pastor Dan, dismiss us.