WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A WIFE OF A MAN OF GOD   

WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A WIFE OF A MAN OF GOD MINISTERED ON 29^TH DECEMBER, 2018 (HOUSEHOLD OF GOD ONITSHA) BY SIS.  JOY NZUBECHI ODOEMENA PREMARITAL SEX AND ITS CONSEQUENCES ON 28 DECEMBER 2019. YOUTH CONFERENCE @ THE HOUSEHOLD OF GODONITSHA, ANAMBRA STATE BY SIS. NZUBECHI ODOEMENA

God is a Nigerian if not… Obasanjo Vanguard Newspaper 2nd July, 2019

“God is a Nigerian because what we have gone through in Nigeria and what we are going through, probably, Nigeria should not be on the map of the world. That’s why I say God is a Nigerian. God has been kind to us; if not, the country would have ceased to exist”.­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.

Genesis chapter 2:18 (amp)

MARRIAGE

Marriage is an intimate and complimentary union between a man and a woman in which the two become one physically in the whole of life. From the scriptural view point of marriage, we will look at Genesis chapter 2:18 (LVB) and the Lord God said, “It is not good for a man to be alone, I will make a companion for him, a helper suited to her needs”.

2. The woman was created as “a helper suitable” for the man. A wife is therefore a “helper” who complements her husband in every way. Complement in this perspective means something that fills up, completes or makes perfect. A wife of a man God should be one that completes him in every way.
3. In the message-WHEN THE SPARKS FLY IN YOUR MARITAL RELATIONSHIP PAGE 8:7-8, God asked a question-How many know by revelation that marital life is a ministry? How many see marriage –either man or woman as a ministry that must be fulfilled with joy? If it is not a ministry, you don’t mention anything “ship wreck” around it. Because marriage is a ministry, somebody is bound to make a ship wreck” of his marital ministry- man or woman. Some are likely to make full proof of their ministries.”
4. A wife of a man of God must of a necessity see her position as a ministry which she must fulfill with joy by building a happy home. Proverbs chapter 14: 1 says that a wise woman builds her house while a foolish woman tears hers down by her own efforts. (LVB).
5. Any woman married to a man of God must have personal revelation about this for I believe this is one of the prerequisites for a successful and happy marriage.
6. In another message- EXAMINE YOUR FAMILY LIFE PAGE 38:7-8, God made us to understand that “the worst man you can think of marrying in life is a man of God, a preacher.
7. At the same time, the best man you can go for as far as marriage is concerned is also a man of God, a preacher, if he is actually a man of God and not a self-made man of God or public acclaimed man of God. One that is ordained of God, it is not easy to marry him, but if you can understand him, you will discover in the end that he is the best”. Any woman married to a man of God is highly blessed and privileged because she is living with one who can change situations.
8. This goes to prove that the wife of a man of God must be a woman of vision, wisdom and understanding.
9. She must have the vision that when God calls a man, he also calls the wife and then gives him the necessary support and encouragement so that they both fulfill their ministries with joy and not make a shipwreck. She must also have the wisdom and understanding to see him beyond her husband and accord him due honour and respect. With this revelation, she will help her husband not to fail, for ‘Nothing damages the reputation of a man more than shipwreck in his marital ministry. The same thing applies to a woman.
10. Any wife that recognizes her husband’s position and sincerely honours and respects him wins his heart and must of course, enjoy her marriage to the fullest. This is true because, when a wife respects her husband that automatically motivates his love.
11. This is expected to be the true nature of a woman married to a man of God. It is lack of this godly truth that causes many to make shipwreck of their marriages.

Wives, be subject to your husbands [subordinate and adapt yourselves to them], as is right and fitting and your proper duty in the Lord.

COLOSSIANS 3:18 AMP

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QUALITIES OF A VIRTOUS WIFE                                                                  

Almighty God has blessed a woman with feminine abilities which she can use for great good in her husband’s life in many ways. This has to do with the possession of certain qualities and traits that will not only make her strong but also flexible to handle diverse issues as they arise and help her to make a success of her calling as a wife of a man of God. We are going to look into few of these qualities.

SUBMISSION

Whenever the word ‘submission is mentioned, some women immediately becomes angry and even hostile. Some wives misunderstand submission by thinking that it makes women inferior to men in some ways some think that if they submit to their husbands they lose their identity and become non-persons. Others fear that submission leads to being used or abused. Let us see what God has in mind for us. Colossians 3:18. You wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, for that is what the Lord has planned for you (LVB).

2. Ephesians 5:22-24- You wives must submit to your husbands’ leadership in the same way you submit to the Lord for the husband is in charge of his wife in the same way Christ is in charge of his body the church. (He gave his very life to take care of it and be its saviour). So you wives must willingly obey your husbands in everything just as the church obeys Christ.
3. These scriptures made it clear that a wife should submit voluntarily to her husband’s leadership. Therefore as I voluntarily submit to my husband, I am completing him and at the same time helping him to become the husband, the king and the leader Almighty God intended him to be.
4. In the message FAMILY MENU VOLUME 1 PAGE 17:1-2, God made us to understand that “there is wisdom in submission, in showing subordination to existing arrangements whether humanly or divinely made. Whatever apparent appeal it might have, total independence is undesirable and unrealistic”
5. Every true daughter of God must believe this to be true from every angle. Submission remains the bedrock of a peaceful and harmonious marriage. Every wife, especially a wife of a man of God should believe this truth from the bottom of her heart and not be persuaded into believing for here lies her joy, peace, blessings, victory etc in marriage.
6. She must totally accept her husband’s superiority over her irrespective of her class or position. Submission entails a wives readiness to willingly, lovingly and totally submit to her husband. No woman wins the heart of her husband more than a submissive wife; she has the key to his heart in her hands. Being submissive my fellow wives does not mean slavery or makes you a fool, it rather shows that you are wise, godly, that you respect your husband and you are ready to be guided and protected which is one of the roles of a husband.
7. A wife that respects her husband is a wife that is dearly loved. It is a tested and proven cause and effect. A wife that does not respect her husband must find it difficult to summit to him. Any wife who fails to submit to her husband cannot win his heart and can never be guided and protected by him. Remember, a husband remains a ‘shield’- ‘protective jacket’ (Ochendo) to his wife. If you walk out from under that covering by not submitting, you are the one that will automatically get wet.
8. Additionally, in the message- FAMILY MENU VOLUME 1 PAGE 60:21, God stated that ‘Peace is subject to total obedience to a superior authority. Any woman that wants to live in peace in her marital home must of necessity concede and acknowledge her husband’s superiority over her at all times and in all matters.
9. It takes a woman that desires peace to submit to her husband and the benefits I tell you is very much rewarding.  It is only when a woman surrenders her life to her husband, reveres and worships him and is willing to serve him that she becomes really beautiful to him. She becomes a priceless JEWEL, the glory of feminism, his QUEEN.
10. My fellow wives, our beauty is not just our physical appearance, a woman is loved and admired by her husband because of her inner qualities- a gentle and quiet spirit/ heart which is in the sight of God a great price. 1^st Peter 3:3-4– “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on jewelry or beautiful clothes or hair arrangement. Be beautiful inside, in your hearts with the lasting charm of a gentle and quiet spirit which is so precious to God’ (LVB). This should be the aspiration of every woman married to a man of God.

HUMILITY: This is another quality that should be evidently seen in the wife of a man of God. As women, we are created to be a ‘helper’ to our husbands. Being a helper requires humility and a gentle spirit. Marriage is one of the most important relationships to remain humble in, for if we fail to be humble, pride will definitely destroy it. Cases abound of so many marriages that broke up as a result of lack of humility on the part of the woman.

11. Humility helps you to accept your strengths and weaknesses. It helps a wife to recognize the headship of her husband that makes submission easy. Without humility, it is very difficult for a wife to admit failure and need to change, which can make conflict management difficult.
12. Humility is a yielding door to understanding, insights and wisdom. It is a humble view of one’s own importance; it is a quality of being humble that comes from a lack of pride. It takes a more humble, modest, respectful, mature wife to admit her mistakes and apologize to her husband. This in turn helps to foster good and peaceful marital relationship.
13. Sisters, humility just like submission remains one of the greatest weapons to win the heart of our husbands and enjoy so many goodies from them, when you allow humility in, you open the door for love to flow.  An Igbo adage has it “that when the kid goat kneels down, he sucks the mother’s breast”.
14. So it applies to a wife in marriage. Honesty comes by way of humility and humility by way of maturity humility is nothing but truth and pride is nothing but lying.  (James 4:6) but he giveth more grace wherefore God resisteth the proud but giveth grace to the humble” (KJV).
15. In the BRIAL COMPENDIUM PAGE 304 Paragraph 3 God made us to understand that “Any wife that disposes herself in the form of saying “Amen” and “oh yes” to the husband has an easy ride. (it takes humility to do this) she does not experience any difficulty in life. Any woman that is found in obedience to the husband, takes all that the husband possesses.
16. The husband can even go borrowing to make sure he satisfies the needs of that humble, meek, obedient and loving wife”. Unarguably believing this to be true, every wife of a man of God is expected to be humble and remain humble to her husband so as to keep the flame of love and blessing from her husband burning.

SUPPORTIVE ROLE: A wife of a man of God must be one that will always play a supportive role in his ministry and life. The husband is the head of the home and the wife is the neck.

17. The neck support the head and helps the head to fulfill its duties. Remember, when God calls a man he calls his wife too. An adage also has it that ‘Behind every successful man, there is an intelligent woman’ a supportive wife). A true daughter of God married to a man of God should have personal revelation that she is called to assist her husband in the fulfillment of his purpose and then give him the necessary support.
18. The role of a wife is so crucial that she can either make or break a family. She gives her husband the strength to succeed, she nurtures her children to stay healthy and do well in life and she has the ability to take care of every minute detail of the home.
19. The support must be physically, spiritually, psychologically, emotionally and other wise. She must know that the failure of her husband is also her failure likewise his success. She must appreciate her husband’s responsibilities towards the flock of God and not to constitute a clog on the wheel of progress.
20. In the message EXAMINE YOUR FAMILY LIFE PAGE 128:39, it says ‘a very intelligent and understanding wife is one that plays supportive role, one that esteems her family above her personal considerations; one that passes sleepless nights because of the welfare of her family.” In other words, she must be hard-working and always put the welfare of her family as her major goal.
21. A Godly and intelligent woman add flavor to a man’s life, for instance if a man is raw beans and palm oil his wife is the pepper,  onions, crayfish and even the mph that makes the beans sweet. In other words, she completes her husband. A wife of a man of god is expected to be her husband’s manager, confidant, chief executive, wife, sister, sweet heart, best friend etc.
22. She is expected to be strong spiritually, being fierce in prayers, warring on her knees for her husband and children. A godly wife can change any situation in her family through prayers than complaining, sisters never underestimate the power and importance of prayers, if you have not tried it, begin today.
23. We need to be in the spirit of prayers at all times so that prayers become part of our relationship with God rather than a ritual.  Playing a supportive role therefore involves, praying for your husband, encouraging him, attending to his needs, doing everything to make him happy so that he will be emotionally stable to fulfill his ministry with joy.
24. If you are doing what you are meant to do, your husband will have no choice but to respect and cherish you (he will know your worth). You will be a constant fulfillment of.
25. (Proverbs 31:10-12) ‘if you can find a truly good wife, she is worth more than precious gem! Her husband can trust her and she will richly satisfy his needs. She will not hinder him but help him all her life” (LVB). A wife of a man of God should therefore know at all times that a great part of her duty is to support her husband for the achievement of God’s purpose in his life especially as it concerns his ministry.

A  GOOD HOME KEEPER: It is necessary to know also that a wife of a man of God must be a good home keeper. The society is bad because most families are bad. The reason why many have become so confused and anxiety –filled is that we have lost our focus on the worth and value God places on the home. When we as women take our role seriously and return our focus to the home, the society will improve.

25. The home of a wife of a man of God as well as every wife should be her priority. She must be willing to make a lot of sacrifices for her family. She must know how to keep the home neat and also prepare nutritious and delicious food for the well being of her husband and children. An axiom has it that “the way to a man’s heart is his stomach”, any woman married to a man of God must be a good and a great cook.
26. Any woman that knows how to cook very well earns the love and admiration of her husband and children.
27. During the course of my post graduate programme in Education, a lecturer was talking to us on some family issues and she said “a man needs three things from his wife – to be well-fed, well-loved in the sexual sense and well-appreciated.
28. ” One woman immediately asked, “and what do I get out of it”. The answer she got was “you will be well- loved; well- cared and well satisfied.” I strongly believe this to be true. Every good wife should fulfill these needs of her husband. BE A TOTAL WOMAN! My fellow sisters and friends, we do ourselves good to humble and learn new ways of preparing delicious and healthy meals for our families and keep on introducing new ones.
29. Do not be shy or proud to learn from others and do not stick to your old traditional method. Never allow yourself to be ego-drowned, remember we learn every day, for learning continues from cradle to the grave, so aim to get new ideas and improve on your standard. This will not only earn you the love and admiration of your husband and children but also promote their overall health.
30. A wife of a man of God must also ensure that there is orderliness in the home for every man appreciates order and will be especially glad to find it in his own home. Orderliness of the home involves training of the children; it is a mother who through the example of yielding to God and to the head of her family- the husband that teaches the children spirit of submission to God and authority.
31. If a mother is rebellious and stubborn, her children will follow her example to their ruin. A wife of a man of God must therefore be a true mother by being living testament, consistent example of the type of person they would like their children to become. She is expected to groom her children spiritually, emotionally, physically and otherwise. If you will not take the trouble to train your child when he/she is a little boy, or girl he will give you a great deal of more trouble when he is a big one.
32. Let us see what the word of God says concerning the training of our children- Proverbs 22:6- ‘Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old will not depart from it, (KJV) Mothers we should  treasure this principle, apply it and hold to it. The training of children is to a greater extent the responsibility of a mother, why because; the mother is closest to the children more than the father.
33. We all are aware of this fact. God made us to understand that any woman that refuses or neglects the training of her children will reap the whirlwinds. This should be a constant reminder to a wife of a man of God and therefore energize her to devote more time in the training of her children she should assume it as her responsibility and not in any way shift if to her husband.
34. Remember, Martin Luther once said ‘All I am  today, I owe to my Angel mother” it should be the vision of every wife of a man of God, to help raise godly children that will  serve God and be a positive influence to this wicked generation. It takes great time, effort, prayers and labour but the joy and blessings that accompanies it is very much rewarding.
35. She must also know how to take care of herself so as to keep looking attractive to her husbanded. The result is that your husband will be pleased with you, your accomplishments and sense of well being. When you as a wife is organized and efficient, your husbands flame of love will continue to burn.

A LOVER OF PEACE 

The impact and influence of the woman in building a happy home cannot be over emphasized. It is very clear that the woman plays a significant role in building a happy home. To be build a happy also means that the wife of a man of God must be peaceful; she must be a lover of peace. She sets the atmosphere in the home, for this reason, she must know the value of peace and pursue it at all cost.

36. The atmosphere in her home should reflect peace and well being, this is important because your home reflects who you are as a wife. In the message FAMILY MENU VOLUME 1 (UNABRIDGED) PAGE ix a block word reads “To be godly is to be obedient. To be obedient is to be peaceful. To be peaceful is to be successful and that leads to longevity!” This proves that peace is associated with success and longevity. I sincerely believe this to be true. It takes a woman that knows and appreciates the value of peace to always aim at maintaining a peaceful relationship with her husband but one that lacks this understanding will always frustrate her husband by her behaviours.
37. A wife of a man of God must be one that knows the value of peaceful co-existence. No sacrifice is too much to ensure that peace is achieved in the home, not temporary peace but lasting and enduring peace that will be contagious. Whatever that will polarize peace in the home should be a woman’s greatest enemy.
38. Every marriage has its problem from time to time; there is no perfect marriage, perfect wife or husband. I am not perfect, I have my own weaknesses. Problems are normal and no marriage is immune. The variable however lies in how you cope or fail to cope with disagreements when they arise.
39. Sister, if you follow up every word or action that comes up in your marriage, you will be in for a bad married life. You can defer your anger, grudges, and complains etc by replacing it with understanding. Wives, we should come to the realization that we are the number one beneficiaries of peace in the home; it saves you from emotional stress which can lead to untimely death. Many health experts confirm that emotional struggle and pressure are the chief cause of many diseases that befall a lot of women. If not brought under control, emotional struggle will greatly increase the stress in a woman’s life. The major cause of stress in a woman’s’ life is lack of peace in the home, hence the need for us to pursue this peace at all cost. Psalm 34:14 ‘Depart from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it. (KJV)
40. Sister, if the trouble in your home is your pride, if it is your salary/money, your social standing, inherited habit from your parents, over protection of self ego, whatever it may be, please, please surrender it. If we really love our lives and wish to live a healthy life, achieve success and finally partake of eternal life, I tell you, they are all worth surrendering. Be willing to compromise and see compromise as a necessity for a healthy marriage.

Nothing compares to a peaceful home, the price of family stability and happiness is not a cheap one but it all worth it. As a wife of a man of God, be ready to pay these prices and the world will be looking for the secret of your success, you enjoy peace of mind, and the success and longevity that accompanies peace will be your portion. Above all, you will become victorious in your marital life and equally help your husband to fulfill his ministry with joy.

PREMARITAL SEX AND ITS CONSEQUENCES BY SIS. NZUBECHI ODOEMENA

DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF TERMS

• Pre according to Merriam Webster means prior to, before.
• Marital according to Merriam Webster dictionary means,

Relating to marriage or the married state.

Of or relating to a husband and role in marriage

• Sexual intercourse (Sex) according to editors of encyclopedia Britannica is also called coitus or copulation means a reproductive act in which the male reproductive organ (in humans and other higher animals) enters the female reproductive tract.
• According to MacMillan dictionary, sexual intercourse (sex) is the act of having sex, especially sex between a man and a woman in which the man puts his penis inside the woman’s vagina.
• Premarital sex according to Wikipedia is sexual activity practiced by people before they are married. The term is usually used to refer to the intercourse before the legal age of a marriage.
• Premarital sex is an action that can adversely affect a youth’s emotional, social, spiritual and physical being in diverse ways.

INTRODUCTION

The youthful age remain the most delicate and destructive stage of life where too many things attract the attention of the youth of which premarital sex is one of the prominent one.

2. “The most delicate stage of life is the youthful stage. It is the most destructive stage of life, it is the stage where too many things attract the attention of the youth and most of the things they delight themselves in are things that would destroy them ignorantly” (Preserve your youths and achieve your dreams revised; pg 4:4)
3. The existence of premarital sex among youth seems to be rampant today. Society frowns against premarital sex from the very outlook that adolescence is the time to form oneself as intelligent and responsible human being and not at all a time to procreate.
4. The teen/youthful years are a critical period for learning and development that will lay the foundation for a young person’s future. Opportunities missed then can never be regained. If young people fail to take advantage of these opportunities they may never develop their full potential
5. In premarital sex, often times, immature human beings explore the sexuality just out of curiosity and might be unaware of the consequences. Sex in itself is not wrong at any age but premarital sex may harm the mental development of youths in several forms.
6. Premarital sexual experiences may atimes lead to the misconception that sex is to be enjoyed at whatever ways possible but this idea is very destructive.
7. Sexual behaviors of adolescents and youths are categorized as one of the main health priorities of our society because of high prevalence of human immune deficiency virus/acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (HIV/AIDS), sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unwanted pregnancies.
8. This call for concerns among the children of God less the youths destroys themselves prematurely as a result of youthful exuberance.
9. It is a known fact that sex is a natural act and we believe it is not sinful but there is every need for it to be regulated.
10. God made us to understand that our lives must be regulated as children of God and any human being that lives a life without regulation is more or less a beast.
11. In as much as an individual may have the power to do all things, everything is not convenient for a child of God.
12. (1 Cor 6: 12 GNB)- Someone will say, “I am allowed to do anything.” Yes; but not everything is good for you. I could say that I am allowed to do anything, but I am not going to let anything make me its slave. “all things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any”. (KJV)
13. There must be clear difference between the children of God and worldly children. As children of God, the youth were warned to flee youthful lusts.
14. (2 Tim 2:22 NLT) – Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. “Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart”. (KJV)

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FACTORS THAT PROMOTE PREMARITAL SEX

PEER PRESSURE: Majority of the youth tend to be easily influenced by what they see their friends do, this has led to more harm than good.

2. The influence peer group has on our youths can never be overemphasized; it tends to be stronger than parental guidance, training and discipline.
3. CURIOSITY: The youth always have the mindset to delve into the unknown. They are curious about sex and aim to try out what they see on the internet, They thought they were searching for reality, but they ended up destroying themselves.
4. They are not satisfied with what their parents told them concerning sex, they want to experience it themselves.
5. Electronic media: There are three things that influence a human being which are what you see, hear and read. Android phones, Television, film and radio have contributed to the high rate of premarital sex.
6. What the youth watch on their handsets and screen determine their behavior and character. “Guard the senses for these are the avenues to the soul; avoiding reading and seeing things which will suggest impure thoughts”(Ellen White)
7. Books and Magazines: Some devilish articles abound in the society which aid in destroying the youth, they are made up of pornographic pictures and sexual stories which stimulate the youth to think about sex always.
8. Having read all these books, the youth do become restless until they have put into practice what they learned from the book.
9. GREED: Desire for money in order to live a sophisticated life is another cause of premarital sex.
10. Some girls want money at all costs hence they are ready to use their bodies to get it by sleeping around with men.
11. A young girl of 16 years can sleep with a man of her father’s age, just because of money; this has brought so many girls to their premature grave. “Greed is a bottomless pit which exhaust the person in an endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching satisfaction”(Eric Fromm)
12. INDISCIPLINE: Self discipline which produces self control helps one to control his/her feelings, emotions and thoughts. “If we don’t discipline ourselves, the World will do it for us”. (Williams Feather) Lack of discipline has led many youth into the dungeon of premarital sex.
13. WRONG ASSOCIATION: This has led many youth into destruction. Show me your friend and I will tell you the type of person you are. Moreover, you cannot befriend a leper and avoid his handshake, so you cannot associate with an immoral fellow without being influenced negatively.
14. IGNORANCE: Lack of good sex education has led many youth into premarital sex; some went into it not knowing what they were doing. Some parents fail to give their children proper sex education at the right age; hence they become vulnerable to premarital sex.

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CONSEQUENCES OF PREMARITAL SEX

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EMOTIONAL EFFECT OF PREMARITAL SEX

The emotional results of premarital sex can lead to psychological damage. This includes confusion that can cause one to question his/her own self worth. A person may also become depressed and regretful.

2. According to James C. Dobson, the greatest evil in premarital sex is disappointment. Premarital sex is not something that happens and is quickly forgotten but can be something that haunts a person throughout his/her life time.
3. Virginity is a gift from God and once it is given away, it can never be returned. The realization of this fact alone can bring emotional damage.
4. Sex before marriage can also cause social problems. Many times these acts are not kept silent, therefore; reputations are degraded. When the news gets around, the outcome usually consists of others gossiping and judging. This can ruin a person’s reputation and cause others to lose respect for that person.
5. Our reputations are usually very important to us, and premarital sex is only going to result in the injury of that reputation.
6. “Your reputation is in the hands of others. That’s what the reputation is. You can’t control that. The only thing you can control is your character (Dr. Wayne Dye)”

PROMINENT CONSEQUENCES INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING:

7. Other prominent disadvantages of premarital sex are those that affect the physical body.
8. Pregnancy is an unfavorable, physical consequence of sex before marriage. Internet statistics show that ten percent of all fifteen to nineteen year old females become pregnant each year.
9. Sexually transmitted diseases are another physical effect of premarital sex. Approximately three million cases of STD’s are reported among teens every year.
10. Becoming pregnant before marriage and contacting sexually transmitted diseases are disturbing to the physical well being of a person

TEENAGE PREGNANCY:

11. This is a common phenomenon in our society at the moment. It poses its own challenges such as:
12. Inability to physically cope with pregnancy since biologically, most females are not fully developed hence the possibility of carrying the pregnancy successfully and or birth complications may lead to loss of the mother’s or the child’s life.
13. Abortion which are sometimes done in back street under unhygienic conditions leading to loss of life, infections with long term consequences of infertility; and to many who survive, psychological and emotional trauma.
14. Single/teenage motherhood characterized by loss of opportunities: economic and social deprivations.
15. Sexually transmitted infections which can leave also a lasting mark like infertility and other health problems on the girl especially if not treated promptly.
16. Sexually transmitted infections are associated too with prenatal effects on the foetus leading to disabilities and or special needs.

EMERGENCY MARRIAGE:

8. Premarital sex leads to emergency or accidental marriage, in the sense that it may result to pregnancy. In this condition, the young man in view might be obliged to marry someone whom he does not love or would have intended to marry under normal circumstances.
9. By this, he is automatically placed in an adult role for which he is unprepared and it also places economic pressure on him and curtails his opportunities for further education or career development.
10. On the part of the girl in question, she will be forced into marriage and motherhood prematurely with its attendant challenges which she never intended for herself or her future.
11. “I have always held that early marriage is a sure indication of second- rate goods that had to be sold in a hurry” (Martin Harris)

HIV/AIDS:

12. Prevalence of HIV and AIDS is highest among the youth. As it is, there is no cure yet for it, meaning that the person at a tender age is forced to live with the condition for a period that cannot be predicted because it leads to death.
13. Sickness from opportunistic infections may be traumatizing and can lead to opportunity cost in the youth.

DEPRESSION:

14. The emotional stress of broken sexual relationships also causes depression. The youth tend to invest more in a relationship that seem real at first, and then suffer deeper pain and hurt when the relationship comes to an end.
15. Oftentimes, this act is hard to be kept secret as the boys tend to brag among their friends thus leading to rumors, the girls reputation is then at stake In some cases drug use and alcohol consumption were said to be the coping strategies or remedies for the depression the individual was passing through, which is never realistic.

DRUG ABUSE:

16. Drug abuse is very prevalent among the male youth. Various drugs are used by male for enhancing sexual performance which has made some of them become drug addicts.
17. Major example of this drug is “Tramadol”. In some cases students take drugs after their relationship has broken. To the females, various drugs and contraceptives have been used in controlling pregnancy or removing pregnancy which now has a resultant effect of destruction of the womb and infertility.

VICTIMS TO RITUALIST:

18. Some girls who engage in pre marital sex become easy targets for ritual activities. Most people who were looking for human parts for ritual purposes give huge amounts of money to greedy and materialistic girls, who possibly end their life mysteriously.
19. Recently cases abound where young girls were killed in the hotels and their private parts removed for rituals.

CONCLUSION

From all the points discussed in this paper, it is clear that premarital sex does more damage than good to the youth because of its negative effects on such a large part of their lives. It can alter emotional, social, spiritual, and physical lives for life. It may seem right at the time but it obviously does more harm than good.

2. Believing this to be true, I concur with Gods injunction that you preserve your youth and achieve your dreams.
3. In the words of Anthony Robbins, “The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you don’t, life controls you”.

Thank you and Remain blessed!